Sunday, May 11, 2008


A taxi stopped outside a small two-story house. A woman and a young girl got off the car.
- That's the house I told you about earlier – the estate agent said.
The girl put her suitcase on the ground, staring at the house. It was just what she wanted.
- Let's go and see the interior, shall we? - the woman asked, taking the keys out of her pocket.
- Mhm – the girl murmured, coming back to reality.
The estate agent opened the house and entered, the girl followed.


- As I already mentioned, the house has a kitchen, a bathroom, two rooms and an attic. Everything is pretty new. The former owner had it redecorated and moved out shortly afterwards. One of those artsy souls as far as I know, just can't settle down. There are some furniture left. We were not able to contact the owner, so they are staying here for the buyer to use.
As the estate agent was saying that they both strolled around the house. The girl paid little attention to what was being told. She already knew she HAD to buy this house. It felt as if every day of her 15-year life was just a step drawing her here.
- I'll buy it – she suddenly said.
The agent gave her a suspicious look.
- Excuse me, but I have some doubts as to whether you're old enough to buy a property. May I see your ID?
- Of course – the girl said and started to search for documents in her bag. “Just stay calm, just stay calm,...” she heard in her mind when she handed the fake ID to the woman. The lady examined the documents for a while and returned them with the I-know-something-is-not-right,-I-just-can't-prove-it look on her face saying:
- Alright, let's sign the papers then, miss Castillo.


So they did, in a dusty kitchen, on a dirty kitchen table. The woman passed the keys to the girl and they shook hands.
- Congratulations and good luck! - the estate agent said with a hint of a smile on her mouth.
When the door closed after her, the girl made a deep sigh of relief. “That was the best 100 simoleans ever spent “ she thought to herself kissing the fake ID.
She sat down on HER floor in HER room in HER house and enjoyed the feeling. It was amazing!


At least until she realised it's so dirty in there that her fingers leave traces in the dust on the floor.
- OK, now it's the time to tidy this place up! - she said aloud.


Kerry said...

Great start, Triss, very intriguing. However, I think it should be a "prologue", which comes before the story, rather than an "epilogue" which is at the end. Unless you are using a flashback technique--I've only read the first bit, so far.

Triss said...

Thanks for your comment Kerry! You're right, I meant "prologue" of course. I feel dumb now.
Anyway, I'm glad you liked this bit and I hope you'll read on!

Kerry said...

I'm sorry--I certainly didn't mean to make you feel bad! I couldn't say prologue (or anything else at all) in Polish! I only made the comment because it affects the reader's understanding and expectations. I'm on to read the rest now!

Bubbs said...

Good thing she has that fake id, huh?